i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
