i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Alive.
So much puke
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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