i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
