So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
