Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep