are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
