tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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