you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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