I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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