We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
