Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude i'm inner monologue high
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
