I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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