it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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