wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
