Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize