u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
