Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
