and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you are never too drunk for berry picking
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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