Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
