youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
