Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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