Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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