discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?