When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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