she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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