I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize
