So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
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The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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