we made out on top of his cat.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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