he wants to bone in the snuggie
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
