My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
