I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize