as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
