I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
