I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Too much gin, very little bucket
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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