About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
