I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
