Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
