The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
