what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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