Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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