You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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