? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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