dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
