I want to walk on stilts...naked
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
