Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
