He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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