I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
