we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They have beer where we have blood.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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