i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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