I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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