someone get that fucking seahorse.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
