:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
