fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
