You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
