Cold hands, warm shart.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize