Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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