i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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