Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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