Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
